#5. Nameless Star.

Yesterday, I met a man.

Even though he could not see me, hear me, know me... I feel as though he knew I was there. His message spoke to me.

His name is Dr. Young-Woo Kang.

And his story, is nothing short of inspiring.

***

Young-Woo Kang was only 15 years old when he was blinded when a soccer ball hit his left eye. His father passed away earlier that year, so it was his mother and 3 siblings who took care of him while he was in a hospital for two years going through a series of surgeries to attempt to reattach his retina.

Young-Woo's doctor somberly told him after two years, that there was no hope for him any longer. He would be blind for the rest of his life.

Young-Woo Kang had to tell his mother the devestating news. Eight hours later, she passed away from shock.

Now Young-Woo Kang andhis 3 siblings were on their own.

He had an older sister, who was 17 at the time. She pulled herself out of school in order to work in the garment district in order to provide for her 3 younger siblings.

The hours she worked were exhausting, and the same year he lost his sight, his mother... he lost his sister as well.

Without his sight, he was unable to do anything for his 2 younger siblings and they were left as orphans.

***

At this point in his life, he had every reason to give up on life.

Some say he contemplated suicide in his frustration.

When we could never imagine how one could muster the strength to pull through such tragedies, what this man did next, is extraordinary.

***

Rather than giving up on himself, the one thing Kang Young-Woo did, was to make a plan.

He made a plan to put himself through school, and graduate from a distinguished University within 5 years. He applied to Yonsei University, one of South Korea's most prestigious schools. Yonsei turned him down using their standards which discriminated against handicapped students.

But Young-Woo Kang petitioned against their rules which had been intact for years, and overturned them! He graduated 5 years later, years after his fellow colleagues had already graduated due to his delay from being hospitalized. But he did not just graduate... he graduated 10th in his class, out of thousands of his colleagues with honors and distinction.

Then he made his next plan.

He wanted to pursue his Masters Degree in the United States. The Korean government put a stop to his plans saying he would bring shame to the country due to his blindness. Again, Young-Woo petitioned against this, and the South Korean government amended their laws and enabled Young-Woo to be the very first Korean handicapped student to attend a Masters Programs overseas as the country's representative.

Today, this man stands a mere 5' 5", never hiding his eyes, and sitting, standing, walking and talking with the biggest smile on his face.

You see, not only did he begin to defy the odds that stacked against him at every turn he made... but he grew up to become one of the greatest inspirational stories South Korea has to show our world. Once he came to America and began teaching as a professor after his Masters program, President George Bush Sr., heard this man's story. Today, after being appointed twice through the approval of every member of the U.S. Congress, he served in the Bush Administration as a member of the National Council on Disability (NCD), an independent federal agency which makes recommendations to the President and Congress on issues affecting 54 million Americans with disabilities. He has written 14 books, two of which have been appointed into the U.S. Congressional Library. He is a father of two sons who grew up to become a national renowned eye surgeon, and a member of President Obama's legislative team.

His accomplishments go on and on...

***

I sat in awe of this man. His strength and his perseverance are unbelieveable.

This man did not waste time sitting around complaining about the injustices he was served throughout his life. Instead, he counted his blessings, and forged ahead, not letting anything get in the way of his sucess.

I looked around the crowded room, and wondered... what complaints did we wake up with this morning?

What enormous stress is burdening us today?

What are we so unsatisfied with this week?

I snickered to myself in disgust of my own self-centered world I've created and festered in. And the size of the problems I've created by placing a mammoth magnifying glass to it in self-pity.

But next to this man, all I could think was how dare I utter a single complaint?

***

This man, who in our eyes, had every right to lash out at God, and curse Him for his unfortunate life... did not.

Young-Woo Kang's testimony is not that he was punished unjustly by losing his family and becoming blind.

Rather, his testimony is that his blindness is his greatest tool bestowed upon him to do the mission work of God.

See, he uses his story, his life and his circumstance as a means to show others the power of God.

Not God's power in what he can take away from us, but how amazing His love is through our most difficult times. How in the darkness of our lives, He is our only light. How He is faithful to those who continue to seek Him.

In the Holy Bible, God says, "My power is made perfect in your weakness."

God didn't create us as these perfect human beings. Rather, we are flawed, we are all handicapped in our own ways... that we may see His perfection and His amazing ways in our lives.

We see God and His strength in its clearest image... when we are broken and cannot rely on our own strengths any longer. When we turn to Him, is when we see His amazing power in our own lives.

This is Kang Young-Woo's message. That is his truth. And it permeated the room with such a heaviness that you could not help but be burdened by the whiny voices in our own heads.

***

Before he ended his sermon, Doctor Kang wanted to share a set of 'laws' he lives by.

The Ten Paradoxical Commandments of Leadership written by a 19 year old student named Kent Keith, who was attending Harvard University at the time in 1968.

1.) People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered.
Love and trust them anyway.

2.) If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives.
Do good anyway.

3.) If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies.
Succeed anyway.

4.) The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
Do good anyway.

5.) Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.
Be honest and frank anyway.

6.) The biggest people with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest people with the smallest minds.
Think big anyway.

7.) People favor underdogs but follow top dogs.
Fight for a few underdogs anyway.

8.) What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.
Build anyway.

9.) People really need help but may attack you if you help them.
Help people anyway.

10.) Give the world the best you have, and you may get kicked in the teeth.
Give the world your best anyway.

***

Because no matter what, life will continue to throw its curveballs at us. That is a constant we can never fight nor dodge.

The question is, what are we going to do about it?

So make a plan.

Whether it be 5 years, 10 years, 15 years.

Give yourself time to reach that goal you set.
Allow yourself the setbacks you may face.

But always endure and move forward with faith, a positive attitude and your eyes on your target. Constant and unwavering.

***

The world will continuously cause us grievances and suffering.

At times, we will feel bogged down, depressed, apathetic, lethargic, and indifferent to the good around us.

But yesterday, hearing Dr. Young-Woo Kang's testimony, combined with the 10 Paradoxical Commandments of Leadership have led me to truly believe with all my heart:

"I can do anything through Christ who strengthens me." [Philippians 4:13]

Amen?
Amen.

***

We must continue to live our lives always seeking the best in people. Always seeking the good in this world. And endlessly pouring ourselves out to love others.

Because what is important, is not what we receive in exchange for our deeds.

Rather, what we experience through the virtues we seek to constantly live out.

Dr. Kang said, "I go now, and ask that you continue to be the silent saints of this world. And to be a nameless star. You see, not every star in the sky has a name for itself. But when you look up at the sky, it is all these stars combined together, that light up our nights with the beauty they create."

Let us seek the same.

And count your blessings while you're at it.

#4. Expectations.

When we were all growing up, we had our own picture of where we wanted to be.

My memory of childhood wanting, is one of my best friend and I, 13 years old, in our junior high parking lot. We were waiting for our enviously-cool high school sisters to pick us up- which equated to them walking on the other side of the street as us, and barely shooting glances, only to ensure we were within the 6-foot radius that we were allowed back then.

There we were in our starchy uniforms sitting on the curb yanking at old dandelions that had sprung up between the cracks. Tiny chasms that such a plant we could effortlessly pluck, had created between asphalt, where the same hands that destroyed a weed, could not dream of prying open.

There we were, with our bouquet of dandelions, our messy ponytails and unaware innocence. With the afternoons crawling by, and the laziness of 3:00 PM sweeping over us, we dared to ask...

Where will you be at the age of 25?

* * *
My simple dream was this:

"I want to be in New York... bright lights, skyscrapers, Time Square.... or Paris! How romantic..." [oh really?]

My friend nodded dazing into the afternoon sky. Surely coming up with a mildly similar scene herself.

"I see myself in a fabulous little black dress with a martini in hand," I added.

Drink of choice now: Malibu Pineapple. A far cry from the glamorous martini.

* * *
And that was it.

That's what happiness at 25 looked like in the eyes of a 13-year-old.

But how beautiful that dream was.

And how much more precious it is now.

* * *
At my quarter century milestone now, I tip my head back and laugh with a dozen years to back me.

While at first the memory sobers me up as I look at the contrast between fantasy vs. reality, I cannot help but be grateful as well.

* * *

You see, so many of us have expectations of our own to fulfill.
To meet.
To execute.
To exceed.

And even more of us, have our family's expectations, particularly mom's or dad's, our culture's, society's, what have you... and the whole cloud of expectations leaves us in a haze.

A haze that so many of us have expertly adapted to, and can navigate about without a headlight.

I found a slightly masochistic comfort in that haze and knew nothing but the unending anxiety of having to meet one expectation, only to be thrown into the cycle of meeting another.




But I found that I hold the key to actively fan through this haze I've been in.

And now, it is time to let go of these expectations that bound me to a life of slavery that I shackled myself to.




Because you see, we are free of this.
We always have been.


* * *


A friend asked me tonight, "Is this where you imagined you'd be at 25?"

But as I silently reminisced on what I had dreamed of in junior high, I could not be sad any longer about it.

I merely said, "I'm where I should be."

"Right now. Just like last year was where I needed to be in order to be here today. And this is all shaping me to be 26 next year as well."














This is how the fog is lifted.



* * *


So whether you're 13, 25, or 50, own it.
Live it.
Thrive in it.
And most importantly, relish it.

Because time is whipping by us... and it goes by at such a speed where we can't even dream of catching it to slow it down.

All that time allows us to do, is to be present.

Right here, right now.

* * *



Don't let anyone tell you where you ought to be.

If where you are, is what makes you happy.

To each his own...




We'll all get there.

Have faith and have hope.

"Far away there in the sunshine are my highest aspirations. I may not reach them but I can look up and see their beauty, believe in them, and try to follow them."
~Louisa May Alcott

[My best friend & I, overlooking San Francisco, amidst the fog. 11/08]

#3. Always the bridesmaid. Never the bride.

There's something whimsical about this dress.

It's half bride, half bridesmaid.

The wraparound satin makes it look like the upper bodice of a wedding gown. But the flirty flowers at the bottom give it a sudden STOP before it blossoms into a fun and flirty, but strong minded dress.

When mags describe a dress as 'fun and flirty' I tend to think that whatever that article is made of, it'll tear at the slightest tug. And the woman who wears it, must be as delicate as the fabric.

But not this dress. It is fun and flirty but simply states its strength simultaneously. It is not uncomfortable with its femininity. It announces it without saying a word. One would never question the woman in this dress.

For someone who usually sticks to black/white, I have stepped out of my comfort zone in saying, that I absolutely LOVE it.

If I had an occassion to wear this, I would. (And I'd feverishly work out my armpit fat that never seems to go away! Tangent: You know in high school, someone convinced me that if I worked out my armpit fat, then my chest size would shrink... even MORE than it already was in its nonexistence at a pre-pubescent 16 years old! This is why I'm 25 and still have an ample amount of fat in that awkward region that forbids me from wearing anything strapless. I digress.)

The dress.
Loose hair.
Light makeup.
Pale thin strappy shoes.
And of course, a wonderful spray of the perfect perfume.

Season: Spring.

How could a girl go wrong?

Even as I sit here in my baggy grey sweats typing this out, I envision the dress transforming my surroundings into a garden that mimics that of a Monet painting.

And even though I cannot physically have that dress in my closet... the vision I have of it, makes me smile. Life's simple pleasures... and a balanced bank account. Win-win tonight.

If I have to be the last one of the group of gals I run with to get married, (and these days, it sounds like more of a blessing than a spinster-destined-curse), then so be it. Because I want to spend as many days in free-willed dresses such as these. Relishing every moment being wrapped up in it.

[Dress: Karen Millen (UK)]
[Painting: Garden Path - Claude Monet (1902)]

#2. Sunset.

As I was driving home today, I saw that the sun was beginning to set.


It made me frown a bit as I thought of how quickly this weekend flew by. But as I turned my eyes to the dim glow of the orange sun, my frown quickly broke into a small smile.


I thought no matter how bad one's day might be, how could you look at a sunset, and not have your world just freeze for a quiet peaceful second? How could that not cause you to breathe a little deeper and appreciate the next breath you're taking?


So at once, I realized, how quickly we take nature for granted, on top of all the others things...


The sun was setting one milimeter at a time, and I was sad to see it go. But as I stared at it (while absentmindedly ignoring the road - driving hazard), my world slowed down for just a small slice of time... and in that moment, I was happy.


I believe in life, we cannot live in a state of happiness. We live our lives in hopes of bumping into as many moments of happiness as possible. So when our lives come to an end, we look back on the string of moments that we are able to piece together as the slideshow of our lives.


In my show, I want as many flashes of sunsets as possible.

So slow down for a minute. Stop your busy life for a moment, to appreciate LIFE. Not for what it has or hasn't dealt you, but just for being blessed enough to be a part of one.

#1.

I never thought I'd be a blogger.

I figured, only people with incredibly interesting things to say... would blog. My daily thoughts, as crazy as they may be to me, might be excruciatingly mundane to others, so I'd keep my journals to myself. But at the blunt urging of a dear friend, I am blasted into the new world of cyber journaling.

It's definitely awkward and uncomfortable, but almost frighteningly relieving at the same time.

So many times, we harbor our deepest thoughts/emotions not because we want to keep them to ourselves, but moreso because we're scared of sharing it with someone else, and seeing or hearing their reaction... or lackthereof.

But to send my thoughts out into the infinite universe that is the Internet, and not be afraid of the nameless, faceless followers that may or may not exist, is a new threshhold for yours truly.

I must say... this is quite exciting.